The Accident
by Goddess2uu
Summary: Dean and Cas AU. A tragic car accident changes their lives - unsure if it's for the better or for the worse. There will be some sex scenes and there is absolutely angst and hurt. The chapters will go back and forth between being before and after the accident, telling the entire story of Dean and Cas. I don't own SPN tho I wish I did.
1. The Accident

The Accident

All he can hear is sirens.. _God those sirens are SO loud_.. He thinks, he tries to open his eyes but they are heavy. He tries to get up, his arms and legs don't seem to be working either. He tries to speak, it hurts so badly. He realizes _there was an accident_. Instantly he starts to remember what happened.

_**Cause Blue Eyes, You are all that I need, Cause Blue Eyes, You're the sweet to my mean**_

_The music is playing softly on the speakers of the Impala; Dean is singing it softly, trying not to wake Castiel from his slumber. They are driving home from a small stay-cation that they had in a city near Lawrence, Kansas. They loved each other so much and they needed a break from their lives of homework and working and late night. _

_They had gone to Clinton Lake for the weekend to spend their visit swimming and on Bobby's boat. Cas had been awake for the first part of the drive but they decided to come back so late that he had fallen asleep to Dean's singing. Cas woke up as the end of Blue Eyes was being sung by his fiancé. _

_**I just wanna sing a song with you, I just wanna sing a song with you, I just wanna sing a song with you...**_

_Cas smiled at Dean and leant in to kiss his cheek. Dean's face lit up and he looked over at Cas for a moment. They were already almost home by this time and when Dean looked over at Cas and saw his beautiful blue eyes.. Everything stopped._

Dean tried feverously to move or speak or at least open his eyes again but he still wasn't able to, all he could do was hear everything going on around him. _Sirens, those damn sirens_. He hears a familiar voice and he tries to zone in on it. The last thing he hears before blacking out again is, "DEAN!"

Cas is still in his seat of the Impala, which is a miracle because Dean refuses to put seat belts in. Cas feels a heaviness on his head but he doesn't care, he gets out of the Impala and is trying to find Dean, he looks everywhere in the mess of their accident. There are already ambulances and police and firemen at the scene, the paramedics are trying to make Cas to calm down but he can't. _I need to find Dean_, he thinks to himself. He finally is able to croak out the words and then he sees paramedics around a body, he recognizes the familiar leather jacket and runs to the body, yelling for his fiancé.

"Dean, Dean.. Oh my god, baby!" Castiel is crying over Dean, he can't tell if he is still alive. The paramedics are talking but Cas can't hear them over the ringing in his ears. "FIX HIM" he yells at the paramedics that are surrounding them, one of them separates Cas from Dean and is trying to talk to him.

"Sir, if we do not get him to the hospital right away we may lose him" the paramedic is trying to calm Castiel down while also checking his vitals. Cas watches as they put Dean on a gurney and are attaching everything they can to him as they put him in the ambulance. "Can I go with him?" Cas asks so softly compared to his yelling. "Yes but you also need to be checked for injuries and damage because, sir, your head is bleeding." _Oh that's what that pressure is_ "Yes okay, thank you" Cas walks to the ambulance that Dean had just been put in and Cas gets in before they close the doors.

The older paramedic starts to ask Castiel lots of questions about who he and Dean were and what they had been doing and what happened during the accident, the entire ride to the Hospital was a blur to Cas. When they got to the Hospital, Dean was taken to the ER and Cas was taken to a separate room away from Dean and Cas started to freak out again. He couldn't leave Dean alone; he had always promised he wouldn't.

Once Cas is all patched up and on meds for the pain. Sam comes in after a soft knock on the door to his room, Cas jumps up "Is Dean okay, Sam?" He asks terrified and all of a sudden dizzy from jumping up and Sam helps him to sit down. "Cas you need to calm down" Sam cautions "they sent him to surgery and they are giving him blood, he lost a lot of it. Do you remember what happened, the accident?" "No, it was all so fast.." "Well the truck hit Dean's side of the car and he flew out of the car when it happened, but the paramedics said that he should make it with lots of rest and rehab." Cas sinks into his bed and sobs quietly "I'm scared, Sam." Sam sits next to his soon to be brother-in-law "me too, Cas, me too."

**\- Two hours later -**

Cas had fallen asleep on the hospital bed in the room that they had given him, Sam was sitting on the chair in the corner and when the doctor comes in they both wake up and look at him expectantly. "He made it but he will be asleep for the next few days from all the trauma, you two can go see him." Cas gathers all of his things and he and Sam go to Dean's room. Cas starts to cry at the sight of Dean hooked to every machine that is in there, tubes in his mouth and connected to both his arms, a cast on one of his legs and one of his arms and then a few bandages wrapped around most of his skin.

"Dean.." Cas' voice is so broken from the sight of his fiancé. Sam gently puts his hand on Cas' shoulder, trying to comfort him.

**\- Three days later -**

Cas is waiting by Dean's bed, watching the man's beautiful face as it is starting to heal. Cas smiles as he leans to kiss Dean's forehead and then sits down, sipping his coffee. Sam had gone to work because well, he still had one. Dean's eyes flutter and then open, focusing on Castiel. Cas smiles with tears in his eyes, he reaches his hand to gently touch Dean's face. "You are so beautiful, babe" Cas says softly and then leaves to get the nurse. Cas comes back in, following a nurse and he has his phone to his face. _Prolly calling Sammy_ he thinks to himself and twenty minutes later Sam comes in and Dean tries to smile only to be stopped by tubes. _I was right he did call Sammy_, he thinks and drifts back to sleep. The nurse turns to Cas after Dean goes back to sleep, "He is going to be in and out of sleep for a few days but this is progress and we will be in and out continuously checking in on him." Cas smiles and thanks the nurse before resuming his perch next to the bed with a coffee in his hand and Dean's in the other.

They were in the hospital for two months before Dean was allowed to go home, Cas had started going back to work a month after the accident. Dean had started to get significantly better day by day but he had to go to physical therapy every day for the next six weeks after getting out of the hospital. Sam was able to get the Impala back to Cas and Dean's house and Cas, Bobby, and Sam had worked on it on their off days while Dean was still in the hospital. Every little thing was starting to come back together in their lives.


	2. The Beginning

**A/N This chapter is a chapter that starts from the very beginning of their undying love.**

\- Reviews would be much appreciated -

Dean paused in the door way of the café and felt his knees go weak _what the fuck is wrong with my body?_ His brain was far behind his body, he started walking again his brain was still lost but once he realized what he was staring at he was able to will his body to stop again. _I probably look like an idiot_ Dean thought to himself as he stood in the middle of the café, still staring at the barista.

When the barista's blue eyes met Dean's green eyes, Dean thinks he might melt. He finally looks away and walks into the long line, feeling eyes on him, he tries to avoid the blue eyes, keeping his head down until he gets to the counter.

"What can I get for you?" the voice is a surprise to Dean because the cashier before was a petite woman. Now it was a man with beautiful blue eyes that looked like see through turquoise, his voice is deeper than you would imagine for this man, his body is perfectly muscular and soft looking in his jeans and t-shirt and half apron. Dean hears the man clear his throat and Dean realizes he's been staring.

"A black coffee, that'll be it" he says, his voice feeling heavy.

"$1.06, please."

"Thanks, Castiel."

When Castiel tilts his head to the left in confusions he looks like a cute puppy -_a cute puppy? What the fuck?_\- Dean smiles and points silently where Castiel's mane tag is sitting, and then walks away to where his coffee is ready. Instead of leaving like he planned he opened up his laptop and sat in the shop.

Cas was currently working in a small, homely café. He was also going to the university across the street. He's only been there for about 45 minutes and whole world changed. He was in the middle of an order when he heard Meg growl below her normal volume "Hot Damn." Cas followed her gaze and met emerald green eyes framed by dark lashes, Cas was struck when the man looked away.

He watched the man, still making drinks. The man was taller -but only by a few inches- his hair was blonde and gelled back into a very 50's male pin up style -it was _HOT_\- and he was wearing jeans and a flannel -_flannel_\- it was one of the hottest things Cas had ever seen on a man. Meg was watching Cas and nudged him in the ribs and when he looked at her she winked and he blushed,. Cas gave Meg the order he'd been working on and took Anna's place at the register, they'd slowed down so much that the green eyed man was last in line.

"What can I get for you?" _you sexy beast_ Cas tries to not laugh to himself.

He is truck by the man's green eyes and can't focus completely. The man is staring at Cas and he blushes, the man doesn't answer for a while. Cas clears his throat and the man looks surprised for moment and then smiles, it takes all of Cas' will to not leap over the counter and jump the man's bones.

"A black coffee, that'll be it"

"$1.06, please" Cas can't breathe form all of the feels pulsing through his body.

"Thanks Castiel"

_HE KNOWSMY NAME, what the hell?_ When the man points at Cas' name tag and walks away without another word, all Cas can think about is _damn that ass_ and swears Meg can read his mind because she whispers "Damn that ass." He smiles at Meg and she smiles back and they go back to working -Cas watches the cute blonde with green eyes sitting in the corner from the corner of his eye.

It's been about 45 minutes since the green eyed blonde got his coffee and Cas noticed that he was looking sadly at his cup. Cas gets the coffee pot and walks to the man and smiles downs at him.

"Would you like more coffee, sir" Cas leaves the 'sir' with a question for hopes to get a name

The man looked up and smiles back, taking Cas' breathe away. "Yes please, and you can call me Dean" He smiled brighter.

Cas couldn't function, he thought to himself -_Dean, damn he's gorgeous and his teeth are soooo straight_. Cas snapped out of his trance, poured _Dean_ his coffee and turned to walk away.

"Cas….tiel"

Cas turned. "Yes, Dean?"

"Do you w-wanna sit and talk?" Dean's voice sounded worried and scared. Cas smiles and looks back at Meg and winks before sitting with Dean "Sure, and call me Cas"

Dean's heart was beating out of his chest as Cas sat down next to him _with_ space between them. Dean couldn't stop smiling from the proximity of this gorgeous man. They talked about little things for about an hour and slowly sat closer together, accidentally. Cas had to get back to work and Dean had to go to class. Cas waved from the counter as Dean left.

Cas went to clean up Dean's area and saw that there was writing on the napkin, a picture of a little angel and then Dean's number with a smiley face and a 'call me' written in heavy hand.


	3. First Dates

Chapter 3 – The accident

**A/N- Hey guys, sorry it's been a while! It is finals week and I am totally fuuucked lol :) but here is another chapter, there is some Destiel Smut but there will be more in the next chapter but still be prepared ;) **

_**PLEASE REVIEW PLEEEEEEASE!**_

Castiel had the day off so he used it the best way he could, sleeping and reading. He had barely woken up at 10 AM and it was 12 PM. He was wearing some low slung sweats that rested low on his hips and no shirt. His face buried in _Interview with a Vampire_, it is one of his favorite books and this was his eighth time reading it.

His phone started to ring but it was all the way in his bedroom and he was so into the book that he didn't want to get up and answer it. It couldn't be anyone important. The only person that ever called him was Gabriel, his older brother.

Then Castiel remembered the day before, the gorgeous green eyed man, whom he gave his number to. _Shit_ Cas thought to himself as he ran to get the phone but didn't make it on time, _I hope he leaves a message._

Dean was in the hood of a 2015 Impala trying to see what was wrong with it, his phone pressed in between his ear and shoulder. The voicemail message came up and the deep gravelly voice of the blue eyed angel he met the day before saying "I don't understand why you need me to leave a message for you to leave me a message"

Dean had to stop what he was doing because he started laughing so hard he was gonna hurt himself. And then the phone beeped and he had to stop laughing to leave Cas a message "Uh, hey, Cas..tiel, dooo you wanna go out to-tonight? Just gimme a call, Dean." He hung up and smiled, leaning back into the hood of the customer's car.

Cas was settled back in his seat with his phone resting on his chest as he started reading again. After only a minute his phone chimed and vibrated on his chest indicating he had a voicemail. He calls his voicemail and listened to giggling and Dean asking him on a date. He smiles and presses redial and it only rings twice before Dean answers, "Hello?"

Dean had his head in the Impala when his phone started playing "Ramblin' Man" and he picks his phone up and sees that it is Castiel- he beams but calms down to answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello Dean"

"Hey Cas, how're you?"

"Great, having a relaxing day. You?"

"I'm great; I was wondering if you wanted to go out for dinner tonight?"

There was a long pause and Dean frowned _why did he call back if he did not want to go out_?

"Cas, you there?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry Dean. Yes I would love to go to dinner tonight."

Dean smiled "Great, I get off work at 5 so I'll pick you up at 7?"

"Okay, I will try to text you my address. I am not great with technology."

Dean laughed "Yeah I noticed"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, Cas. I'll see you tonight"

"Bye Dean"

"Bye Cas"

Dean hung up and smiled at his phone and got back to work, he wanted the day to be over. It was only 3 PM and he still had four hours.

Cas sat back in his chair. He was smiling like an idiot. He decided to call Gabriel and tell him the exciting news.

Gabriel answered with excitement, "Cassie! I'm so glad you called me, I was thinking about you today and was totally going to call you! How is my baby brother and why are you calling me? You never call me first.. OMG! Are you okay? What is wrong?"

"Gabe shut up. Everything is fine, I wanted to tell you something exciting."

"Ohhhhh what is it?"

"I've got a date!"

"What is her name?"

"Why does it have to be a her? HIS name is Dean"

"Oh, I totes forgot that you were gay. It's so new to me"

"That is because you never paid attention when we were younger"

"Oh shush Cassie, I was the best big brother ever"

"Yeah sure. Any who I wanted to tell you about it!"

"I'm so excited for you! Tell me about him"

"He is gorgeous" Cas started to describe the green eyed man to his brother. This brother was the only one of 7 that knew Cas was gay but Cas had never had a girlfriend so he assumed everyone knew even if he never told his family about any of his boyfriends. When Cas was finished he waited for Gabriel to talk.

"Wow, he sounds beautiful and amazing. I can't believe you only met him yesterday though! Are you sure you can trust your beautiful fragile self with him?"

"I'm sure I'll be fine Gabe"

"Okay baby bro, well I have to go. Tell me all about it tomorrow!"

"Bye Gabriel"

Cas hung up and leaned back in his chair to take a nap before he gets up to get a shower before his date.

His phone gave a small ring indicating a text and when he checked it, it was Gabriel.

**Don't forget to use protection baby brofer! **

Cas rolled his eyes and put the phone down but he got another text. He groaned annoyed that his brother was bothering him about sex on a first date. He checked the text and it wasn't Gabriel, it was Dean.

**Hey Cas, still need your address. Can't wait to see you. :) D.**

Cas giggled and blushed. _I am a girl_. He typed out his address and then a message.

**Do I need to dress super nice? Or normal?**

He waited not long for Dean's reply.

**Babe, you could come naked and everyone would be fine with it. D.**

Cas was surprised and happy and blushing so hard that he could feel his face was hot and his smile was stupid big. He got another text.

**See you at 7. Sorry if you don't want to be called babe. :* D.**

**Oh, and dress semi-casual :) D.**

Cas put his phone down and went to shower. He spent the next 20 minutes in the shower just thinking about how his date that was soon to come _not soon enough_ he thought.

Once he was out of the shower he dries his hair with the towel and looks in the mirror, his black hair looking more disheveled than ever. He got dressed in a pair of black slacks, a form fitting white button up shirt, and a blue tie. He decided against the suit jacket that goes with the pants but he made sure that his tan trench coat was by the front door for when it was time to go.

By the time he was ready it was only 4:30, meaning he still had two plus hours until Dean would be there to pick him up. He made the decision to spend the rest of the time reading.

Dean was a nervous wreck for the rest of his shift at the salvage yard; he couldn't concentrate on the 1965 Shelby Mustang that he was working on for a very prestige client - he was just way too excited and nervous.

At 5:00 pm it was time for him to go home and get ready. He had finally started to get lost in his work and then it was five and he practically ran to his Impala and sped home. He jumped in the shower and washed all of the oil and grease off of his skin, wanting to look good for Castiel. Once he was out of the shower he was having the dilemma of picking something out to wear on their date.

By 6:25 pm, he was dressed in a nice green sweater, and very tight blue jeans that he thought affectively hugged his ass. He checked his phone 20 times in a 5 minute period and he didn't know what to do with his time, he mapped out the route to Cas' house. He figured since it was about a 10 minute drive to Cas' house he could leave at 6:40 and not be too early.

At 6:55 pm Dean was sitting outside of Cas' house in the Impala, trying to muster up the courage to go up to the front door.

Cas is sitting on a chair in the front room of his house, his face in a particularly exciting part of the book when he heard three quick knocks on his front door. He practically jumped up off of his chair, from being startled and excitement. He was so engrossed in the book that he lost track of time, looking at his phone it was already 7:00 pm.

He opened that door and he felt like his breathe was knocked right out of him from the sight in front of him. Dean was wearing a green sweater that was tight but not too tight and brought out his beautiful green eyes. He could tell that Dean's pants were very tight on him; he was also wearing a very old looking leather jacket. His hair was a mess of spiked blondeness, like it was freshly washed. The smile that was resting on his lips was even more breathtaking, beautiful, and kissable.

"Hello, Dean."

"Hey, Cas. You look... Amazing." Dean stutters and it makes Cas' heart squeeze in his chest.

Cas blushes profusely and smiles, looking out past Dean, seeing Dean's Impala. "That is a really nice car you have there. And you don't look too bad yourself, Dean" he says it as pointedly as he could.

Dean can't take the smile off of his face as he is standing in the doorway looking at his gorgeous date. Cas is in a nice button up shirt, a blue tie, and slacks. All of them hugging his body slightly too tight but not quite. Dean chuckles at the sight of Cas, noticing that his tie is crooked.

"What?" Cas' voice is just so deep and sinfully sexy. Dean reaches his hand forward, asking with his eyes for the permission to touch. Cas nods gently and Dean attempts to fix Cas' tie. "Wha… why are you fixing my tie?" "Because it is crooked" "Oh."

"Where are we going for our date?" Cas asked tentatively as soon as Dean gave up cause he couldn't fix the tie.

"You'll see, are you ready?" Cas smiles and grabs his trench coat before locking the door and turning to face Dean, placing the trench coat on his slender shoulders. Cas steps just slightly closer to Dean, their faces just inches away. Dean smiles down at Cas and his eyes dart from Cas' eyes to his lips and back. Dean subconsciously licks his bottom lip, staring at Cas' beautiful blue eyes with his green eyes.

Dean decides that the proximity is far too close so he took a step back before turning to lead Cas to the car, Cas followed silently and was taken back by Dean opening the door for him. Cas lowered into the car and smiled, watching Dean walk around the Impala. Once Dean was in the car he started it up and made an excited noise that Cas also interpreted as being horny once Baby purred to life.

Rather than take Cas to somewhere for their date Dean decided a picnic would be the perfect thing but before they went to their picnic spot they had to grab some coffee.

"What would you like to drink, babe?" Dean blushed slightly and smiled.

Cas turned bright red before stuttering "a-a-a-a l-latt-tte, pl-please."

"Cool, I'll be right back with coffee."

Cas sat in the car and turned up the radio slightly, _Carry On Wayward Son_ by Kansas was playing and Cas liked the beat even if he didn't know the words. Cas closed his eyes and thought about Dean, and those beautiful green eyes that seem to absorb Cas' soul. Cas was brought out of his daydream by Dean placing a drink holder with two coffees in his lap.

"Alright let's go."

The date was a great success and so much fun. Dean had created a romantic picnic with candles and instead of wine, coffee. He had made Chicken Fettuccini Alfredo with bread sticks and Caesar Salad. Then desert was an apple pie that Dean bought from a bakery, because he could cook but he could not bake. At about 9:30, they were lying on the blanket; bodies pressed up against each other looking up at the clear Kansas night sky.

Dean scoots closer to Cas, as close as he could. "How has your night been handsome?" Dean says it in a low voice, his head turned slightly so that his breath is against Cas' neck.

Cas shivers "it has been quite fun, exactly what I thought it would be." Cas says looking up at the sky still, trying to avoid kissing Dean.

Dean smiled, noticing that Cas' neck muscles were straining slightly as he tried to not move. Dean leaned into Cas slightly and sighed gently, his hot breathe ghosting over Cas' skin. "I'm so glad you had fun sweetheart."

Cas blushed at the nickname and decided that it wouldn't hurt to give Dean a small kiss, he turned to face Dean and Dean's lips were a millimeter away from Cas', he smiled and Dean's eyes looked to Cas' lips and then he just pushed his lips to Cas'. The contact was intense for both of them, the sheer touch - though chaste - was amazing and then Dean pulled away with a smile on his face. Cas cocked his head in confusion and Dean laughed then leaned in again. This kiss becoming more intense, Dean's lips opened and his tongue flicked out to gently trace Castiel's lips. Castiel moaned against Dean and let his mouth open up, Dean's tongue immediately going into Castiel's mouth. Castiel moaned into Dean's mouth and gently bit Dean's tongue. Dean pulled away and chuckled; "down boy" he said with a wink and then pulled Castiel to cuddle.

Cas was starting to doze off in Dean's strong hold and Dean smiled, "Hey sweetheart, let's get you home."

"Mmm-kay, yeah."

Once parked out front of Cas' house, Dean got out of the Impala and then walked to Cas' side and opened the door. Dean walked him up to the front door, before kissing him gently.

"Good night, Cas."

Instead of saying good night back, Cas opened the door and pulled Dean inside before shutting the door and pushing Dean against it. "It's not nice to tease, Dean" Cas pushes his mouth against Dean's and his body plastering Dean's to the door.

**To Be Continued..**


	4. Coming Home

**Coming Home**

**Please be aware that I procrastinate life and I'm preparing to go to my cousin's wedding and then going out of country and then all that jazz and work and spending as much time as I can with my boyf and it is just being a difficult thing, this updating business.**

**Enjoy :), sex will be presented in later chapters.**

**Present Time**

It was the first day back at the house after the accident for Dean but there seemed to be a problem that he couldn't remember what their house looked like or where they lived or what their room was like and if they had a nice kitchen or even if he loved their house.

The doctor said that some memory loss was normal and that it would get better and either he would remember or he would just make new memories. Either way, the doctor said he would be fine. At least he hoped that he would.

Cas did everything that he could to help Dean, he still had some stitches that could not be removed for a few more weeks, they still seemed very raw. The fact that he needed physical therapy made moving around the house difficult but a Winchester is a persistent and will always prevail. No matter of pain will stop a Winchester, ever. But Cas was treating him like a baby and it was driving Dean crazy because he didn't like being perceived as helpless even if Cas knew him as well as Sammy does.

It was week two since coming home and Dean's memory was becoming worse with many things, on some days he even forgot who Castiel was. The first day that Dean had forgotten who Cas was scared the ever loving shit out of Castiel.

_Dean woke up thinking that he was in his crappy apartment that he lived in with Sammy, he was in his boxers which he thought was weird cause he almost always slept naked, he didn't care that Sammy could just be a douche and not knock on the door before coming in to wake him up on the days he slept in. the sheets were also different than the ones he remembered that he usually had, these ones were silk, which he liked a lot. He thought about how soft they felt on his skin, he wasn't prepared to open his eyes yet, he was so comfy and from what he could tell, it was midmorning. His skin was warm and the gold color that lit his eye lids made him happy but he doesn't remember there being a window that let light in in the morning but … he felt movement next to him _oh shit I don't remember.. did I sleep with someone last night?_ He was freaking out inside his own head, and the body next to him started to shift and it shifted towards him _I never sleep in the same bed as a one night stand.._ the body groaned and it was a deep groan, not one that came from a woman. _What is happening?_ The body rolled over and pressed against Dean, _oh, he is so warm_ Dean was still confused though, he couldn't remember who the body belonged to, he didn't remember the man pressed against him. He decided to open his eyes, he wasn't at his apartment, he wasn't in his bed. Then his eyes landed on the man lying in his arms, the man was beautiful (must be why he is lying in bed with him) black hair and blue eyes and a finely cut jaw that just looked kissable, and the lips that perched perfectly on his face, the lips that looked so gentle and he reached up to touch them then dropped his hand to his own chest, the look on his face of confusion must be pretty prominent because the man speaks up in that deep voice. "Is everything okay Dean?" Dean decides that just being straight with the man willmake everything a whole lot easier. "Uhm, sure I feel pretty great except that I am not one hundred percent sure who you are…" The man sat up looking down at Dean with this expression of pure shock and confusion on his face, Dean could understand the shock but not the confusion, why was this man looking so confused when Dean didn't remember anything about anything, whether or not they had sex last night or if he'd gone out drinking or if he was dating this man or anything that resembled why this man would be confused. "Dean, why don't you remember me? It's Castiel, your husband…" _My husband? What the…._ His thoughts were cut off by Cas.. Castiel talking "How do you not remember me? Is your memory getting worse? The doctor said that it could get worse but I didn't think that it could get…." Dean decided that Castiel was talking too much and put his index finger on Castiel's lips _so soft_ "I'm sorry Ca-Cas-tiel, I am not sure what you are talking about." He stuttered on his name because in his mind it felt awkward. Castiel's eyes watered and he kept himself from crying. He got out of the bed immediately and reached for his phone and called a number, the person answered not long after that and all Dean could hear sounded like whispers from the other side and then Castiel freaking out and yelling into the phone "Doctor, he doesn't remember who I am, he doesn't remember where we are" there was more whispers from the other side of the phone and Castiel was in full blown tears, his shoulders shaking. Dean was still confused, _husband? I don't do those kinds of relationships._ He got out of the bed and started looking for his clothes; he didn't see them anywhere so he thought about the fact that Castiel had called himself Dean's husband. He decided to look in one of the drawers or the closet and there he found some jeans and his faded and old ACDC tee which he put on. Castiel was still on the phone and was looking at Dean bewildered, once Cas was done with his phone call he looked over at Dean as Dean was putting his boots on, "how did you know where to find your clothes?" "Well, you said you were my husband so I decided to look in some drawers and the closet, found everything I needed." Dean shrugged and looked at Castiel with a sheepish look. "Oh," Cas started "well we need to go to the doctor's today since you are experiencing memory loss that is dating back at least six years." Dean just looked at him, nodding gently before raking his eyes across Castiel's body, _I see why I chose him,_ Castiel had been sleeping completely naked and he was still standing in the middle of _their_ room, completely naked. Dean bit his lip and smiled at Castiel, it was like he was seeing him all over again because truth be told he WAS, in his mind he had never seen him before and god damn, he was a gorgeous man. Castiel turned red as a tomato from his chest to his hairline. "You are a beautiful man, Castiel" Dean purred his name and stepped closer to him, smiling and gently reaching towards him, placing his hand on Cas' cheek. Castiel leaned into the hand that was palced on his cheek like it was routine for the two of them and then the expression on Castiel's face changed from content to distress as he remembered that Dean didn't know who he was. "I should get ready" He stepped away and then walked around the room as he got dressed. Dean stood awkwardly around. They went to the doctors and then eventually they went back home, the day seemingly normal except that Dean didn't know who his husband was and he didn't know how to act around him and Castiel didn't know what he could do around Dean. They went to bed on opposite sides of the bed._

_When morning came Dean could remember the day before and how he hadn't remembered anything but today he remembered everything, he remembered how much he loved his husband, how much he cared for him. Dean rolled over and found Castiel at the end of the bed, curled up away from Dean; Dean wrapped his body around Castiel. "Good morning handsome." Castiel shuffled and mewled at Dean's touch. "I love you baby boy, so much and I just can't explain how bad I feel about yesterday." Cas purred gently and Dean barely heard it. " it wasn't your fault, it's the stupid accident.. I love you too by the way." _

That memory always hurt Castiel but Castiel would always remember that day because it helped him with when this happened again.

**A/N: Thanks for reading and please review! They make me feel happy and loved. Judgement necessary for future chapters. **


	5. You Aren't The Same Behind Closed Doors

**A/N: I would like to apologize about my lack of updating. I suck :P and I'm sick and I work today so I may finish this before or after work. Here we are back to the past.**

* * *

Dean's senses were overwhelmed. He was confused by the sudden change in the night and the way things were turning out. He was pressed against the heavy front door or Castiel's house, from the inside. There was also a very strong body pressed flush against his own, kissing Dean on his neck. Dean's mind was reeling and his thoughts were starting to take over his body, he couldn't see very much because they hadn't managed to turn the lights on. They were in a small foyer like room that was really small but he could tell the rest of the house was much larger. But he still couldn't be entirely sure.

And then all of his thoughts were stopped by the bright, cerulean blue that Cas' eyes were. They were the only light thing that Dean could see, they lit up everything though. Dean could see that Cas tilted his head slightly to the right and looked at Dean with confusion and expectation in his eyes.

Dean smiled and lifted his hand up to Cas' neck, rubbing it gently and sweetly. "Dean, are you okay with this? I know it is a first date and, and I'm not normally like this-" he started to pull away "I just can't help but - god you are such a beautiful person, with those green eyes and those god damn kissable lips that are just so good looking and delicious and-" he was fully pulled away from Dean now, maybe a step or two away from him "You're just nothing I've ever had before and everything I had ever dreamt of and I don't want to rush this-" he was babbling like a bumbling buffoon but he couldn't stop his words from spilling out "I want this to last because, did I say you were beautiful? Cause you are and that is one of those reasons as to why I don't want to ruin this by going too fast and I would like you to leave, pl-please."

Dean was baffled, he couldn't - didn't know what to say or what to do. He just stood there and watched as those blue eyes slowly backed away from him, his grasp on Cas' neck slipping free as Castiel took enough steps so that when Dean tried to reach for him from his perch on the door and then he thought that hopefully he heard wrong.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Cas, what is going on? Are you okay? Did you just ask me to leave?" Dean asked back sweetly, trying not to startle Cas as he stepped closer.

"Dean, I know that this is very sudden and you are probably very confused but I need you to go." He walked to the door, and opened it, letting the soft light from the porch; lighting up Dean's features and the confusion on his face was making Cas sad. "Dean, I will call you later I promise. I'm just, I'm sorry Dean. Good night." Dean had stepped onto the porch and wanted at least a good bye kiss before he left.

"Can I at least get a goodbye kiss, Cas?" Dean asked and Castiel nodded, making sure that nothing more than their lips touched before going inside fully and closing the door before leaning against it. _What is wrong with me? Why did I just do that?_ Cas was thinking to himself as he sunk to the floor. He looked through the mail slot in his door when he heard Dean's car start and watched him drive away. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

Dean was so confused he didn't know what he did wrong. He stood on the porch for a while hoping that Cas would open the door for him and let him back in. But as he waited he realized Cas wouldn't come back out or let him back in. So he got in his car and went home to Sammy- who was probably asleep and if he wasn't he would up studying like the nerd he was. What is he going to do about Cas?


	6. I'll Be There For You

**A/N Sorry for taking so long I got distracted with another fanfiction that I am in love with 3 thanks for your patience really. And please review. And the title is the Bon Jovi Song 3**

**I'm also in another country doing a lot of things so writing is a rare commodity for me.**

...

It had been weeks since the incident at Castiel's house. Dean was constantly distracted, waiting for Cas to call him and all he could do was wait because he didn't want to push Cas. All he wanted to do was go to Cas' home and hug him and console him.

He attempted to catch Castiel by going by the café he worked at but he wasn't there the three times he stopped by, so he gave up on that. He kept working and waiting; he was head over heels in love and was extremely upset that he couldn't love the person he wanted to love.

Bobby and Sam were getting overly annoyed with Dean; he was constantly playing 80's love ballads and singing along like a giant baby. One of his favorites was "I'll be there for you" by Bon Jovi; he played it on repeat forever.

...

This one day Dean is at the garage and he is working on his gorgeous 1965 Cherry Red Ford Mustang. "I'll be there for you" was playing on full blast, he was the only one around or at least that is what he thought.

_I'll be there for you_

_These five words I swear to you_

_When you breathe I wanna be the air for you_

_I'll be there for you..._

He was so engulfed in his work and singing. He was currently under the car, and he didn't know someone was in the shop until that someone kicked his foot. He kinda jumped and rolled out from under the car. He had literally just gotten oil dripped onto his face and his hands were extremely oiled up. He was laying on the floor and then when he finally focused on the person who kicked him he jumped up and started wiping his hands on his clothes.

"Cas... What... Hello... Hi... Uhh..." he shuffled on his feet slightly, looking at Cas with a scared smile.

Castiel smiled sweetly at Dean, he knew he shouldn't have waited for so long he was just scared. He had a lot of things happen in his life and he kind of lost control. "Hello, Dean. That was a nice song you were singing, though you don't seem to have the best singing voice. Though, I could most likely get used to it." Castiel was starting to babble, nervously, he did this often and Dean was smirking adorably at him. He drifted off at the end of his sentence forgetting what he was going to say to Dean in the first place and just stood there staring at Dean.

Dean reached up to rub the back of his neck; he was getting slightly uncomfortable from the blue stare of death he was getting from Cas. "Uhh, Cas?"

"Hmm?" Cas was still seemingly lost in thought, Dean decided to step closer to Cas and this got him to jump back a bit. "Oh Dean, I-I'm sorry."

"So, what are you doing here blue eyes?" Dean had picked up a rag and was rubbing the grease off of his hands though it wasn't really doing much good. He was staring into those blue eyes.

"I- I wanted to apologize for the other night. And I know it is a bit late for an apology as well as for me to ask forgiveness but I wanted to try because I feel very ba-" Castiel was instantly cut off by Dean's lips meeting his own, kissing sweetly and not pushing Cas at all.

After a few moments of just having their lips pressed together and not actually kissing, Dean pulled away and looked into Cas' bright blue eyes.

"I forgive you, Castiel. I just hope whatever happened doesn't impede on us having another date?" Dean says quietly while smiling at Cas, hoping to God that he can see this man again.

"Yes." Is all Castiel's reply is.

"Uhm, yes to what Cas?"

"Yes, we can see each other again."

_Oh thank Jesus Christ himself._ Dean pulls Cas in for a hug. "I'm so glad that you want to go on another date."

Cas just giggles and hugs Dean back. "Me too, Dean."

"Can I kiss you again?" Dean asks against Cas' neck, still holding him tightly.

Cas tries to back up slightly to kiss Dean but Dean doesn't budge. "Dean you can kiss my neck or you could kiss my lips."

Dean laughs and backs up before leaning forward to kiss Castiel will all of his being. Cas kisses back passionately, trying to apologize with his lips that he is sorry for making Dean wait so long.

Dean pulls back and smiles at Cas, "babe I've got to get back to work but I'll see you later okay?"

"Okay, bye Dean" Cas kisses him again quickly before leaving."

…

**A/N: I'm so sorry for taking so long as well as for this being so short I'm just trying to update for you as quickly as I can. With much love 3 Reviews please!**


	7. Second Date

**A/N I would like to apologize PERFUSELY so my lack of updating. I suck epically and feel so, so, so bad. Please forgive me you lovely, lovely people. I do not work this coming Thursday so I will update as many chapters in all of my stories as I can. **

**I AM SO SORRY!**

**Let me start now.**

* * *

Dean was a nervous wreck. Cas was waiting for him after work. Hopefully Cas wouldn't freak out again. Hopefully he could touch him more than he had before. Dean was a wreck for how much he wanted Cas.

Dean went to bed every night thinking of Cas' beautiful body and jerking himself off until he lost himself in the throes of passion and coming all over his stomach. He would scream out his pleasure into the pillow that he had placed over his face moments before coming.

He knew that he needed to wait a bit longer before Cas would let Dean have him but at least he knew that it would be happening one day soon.

It was 4:30 PM and Dean was just getting off of work for the day. He was a mess, he was covered in oil and grit, after Cas had left he wanted to work as hard as he could to keep his mind off of his date with Cas coming that night. So he worked hard and got dirty and now he was heading home to shower so that he wasn't disgusting for Castiel.

* * *

Castiel was a nervous but excited and couldn't have been happier. He felt so bad making Dean wait for so long. He wanted so badly to talk to him sooner but he couldn't but now that he has talked to Dean, he is sure that he can let Dean in. He knows that he can because if he couldn't he wouldn't have gone back to Dean.

Tonight they were having another date, a second date. He was so excited and he was thinking that he was ready to take the relationship to the next level. He wanted Dean completely and he was ready.

Their date was at 6:00 PM and it was only 4:50 PM when he got a text from Dean.

**Dean: Still excited for our date tonight? D**

Cas smiled at Dean's uncertainty and glad he asked. He replied quickly.

**Cas: Yes, I am. C**

Before he could even but his phone down it chirped again.

**Dean: I'll pick you up at 6, on the dot. D**

He, once again, texted him back quickly.

**Cas: See you then :* C**

He put his phone down quickly and left it on the table on its own. He wasn't quite ready. He was still in his underwear from after he took his shower about 30 minutes ago. His hair was mostly dry and it was disheveled to a whole new extreme. He donned a light blue button up shirt that made his eyes a brighter color of blue and made his dark black hair stand out even darker than normal. He wore his tightest pair of dark blue jeans a pair of black converse that he loved dearly. Over his light blue button up he wore a vest as well, black in color and tight enough to show many of his muscles but didn't due to the dark color.

Even with his modesty he looked in the mirror and thought _Holy hell, I am a sexy man._

* * *

Come 6:00 PM, Cas was standing by the window that looked down at the front of his apartment, so that when Dean pulled up he could grab his trench coat and run down the stairs to meet Dean.

Dean pulled up to the apartment complex at 6:00 on the dot according to his phone. And not even a minute later, before he could even walk up to the door of the complex, the door opened and the beautiful face of his date filled his sight and all he could see was blue. _Blue Eyes_. Dean let out a little gasp as Cas stood there panting from the exertion of running down the stairs.

"Hello Dean" Cas said in his slightly breathless deep, gruff, sexy as all hell voice and it has already brought Dean's cock to life with a small twitch. _That motherfucking voice will kill me._

"H-Hi Castiel." _Why the hell am I stuttering?_ Dean lifted his hand to Cas' face and smiled slightly embarrassed then dropped his hand back to his side.

Cas smiled brilliantly, loving how Dean's face turned a light pink color. _He is so adorable. _Cas stepped off of the little step that was in the door way and the moment that he did he was crowding Dean closely. He was only an inch shorter than Dean and that seemed monumental when standing so close. He looked up into Dean's emerald green eyes and leaned forward just barely, his lips barely brushing against Dean's as he spoke. "I'm so glad you are here Dean."

Dean couldn't believe the amount of affection Cas was showing him in public. It wasn't like they were even in the foyer of the apartment complex or in one of their apartments. They were in the middle of the street with Cas practically standing pressed against the door. Once Cas was almost kissing Dean, he couldn't seem to care anymore. When Cas stepped out of the door way the door closed heavily behind him and once Cas was done talking Dean had him pressed against the door, he kissing the beautiful man that was in front of him with so much passion that it was probably illegal in the middle of the day. Cas didn't seem surprised which made Dean think that Cas had wanted this and expected it completely, PDA and all.

Dean broke the kiss and breathed against Cas' neck. "Cas, please, don't tease me.. We are in public and if you can't tell, I'm hard as fuck." Cas chuckled sinfully in Dean's ear and Dean had to stifle a moan. Cas whispered into Dean's ear, "Dean, people are staring and I could really care less but if you would like, we could go inside.." he trailed off with another sinful chuckle. Dean groaned again and stepped away from Cas with noticeable effort to do so.

Cas frowned and tilted his head to the left in confusion. "Dean..." but Dean cut him off.

"Cas, you coming?" Dean turned towards the Impala and jumped into the front seat, starting it. The ignition turned over and purred beautifully.

Cas stood there, watching Dean move and was frozen in his spot. He had a raging boner for Dean but there was no way of getting rid of quickly. The only thing that brought him out of his fantasies of Dean was that the door he'd been leaning on jerked open and he fell backwards into his neighbor. He turned and it was Anna, his neighbor across the hall and he had accidentally knocked her over and he was mortified. He was hard as hell and was fumbling to get her back on her feet. Mumbling "I am so sorry Anna; I didn't mean to hurt you. Anna, I'm so sorry." She just smiled after getting off of the floor and shook her head at him "Castiel, nice to see you. It's alright; I wouldn't have fallen if I had been prepared. But, honest, no harm, no foul; I'll be fine." She smiled even brighter and continued on her way. He embarrassedly got into the car and sat, staring forward; blushing so hot that he was sure he was red as a tomato. He didn't look at Dean but he heard a faint snickering next to him.

Dean watched the entire scene unfold as Cas just stood against the door. When it opened and everyone fell he couldn't help but laugh. Cas was fucking adorable with his fumbling and apologizing and blushing. Dean watched as Cas got into the car. Dean snickered before putting the car into gear and pulling out into the traffic that was filling the streets.

AC/DC was playing faintly on the radio as Dean drove them to where he had called in a reservation for dinner. Dean didn't want to rush Cas, therefore he changed from practically humping Cas at the door of his apartment complex to driving them to their nice dinner/movie date.

Cas finally calmed down and once he did he turned to Dean with a small smile on his face. Dean could see him out of the corner of his eye and he smiled brightly. The drive to dinner was about 25 minutes from Castiel's apartment. Half of it was spent in comfortable silence until Cas had been staring at Dean for a good 5 minutes without blinking and Dean finally quirked his head to look at Cas and he smiled.

"Cas, your stare is so intense that I feel like you are boring into my soul."

Cas chuckled and looked more intently, if that were even possible, at Dean, "and what if I can, Dean?"

Dean visibly shivered at the deepness in Cas' voice. "That would not be a pretty sight." Dean said quietly, smiling sadly.

"Well, what if what I see is actually beautiful?"

"Then you are looking at the wrong person, Cas."

"I would disagree."

There was a pregnant silence for a few minutes before Cas spoke again.

"Dean you are beautiful, remarkably, uniquely, exceptionally beautiful."

Dean was speechless. Dean had never been speechless in his entire life and now he had no idea what to say and somehow Cas could see that and with that Cas turned back to face the road. Instead of talking about what happened he decided to talk about something else.

"So, I was thinking, after dinner I was thinking about going to the movies."

"The movies? What will we be seeing?" There was a tone of confusion in his voice like he had never been in a movie theater.

"The Avengers, Age of Ultron. Does that sound good to you?"

"Yes, I guess so." He still sounded confused and like a lost puppy.

"Uhm, what does that mean Cas?"

"I- I have never, never been to the movies before."

"Cas, man, please tell me that you are kidding."

"Why would I lie about that Dean?"

"I dunno man but that doesn't seem right. Aren't you like in your 20s?"

"My, my parents were very religious and movie theaters were considered a way for the devil to steal your soul.." He said quietly and Dean could barely hear him but he strained to catch every word.

Dean pulled Baby into a parking spot in front of a small Chinese restaurant that looked like a hole in the wall but still quaint and lovely looking. Dean turned off the car and walked around the car and opened the door for Cas. Cas slowly got out and was met with a face full of Dean, Cas smiled and tip toed slightly to reach his lips to Dean and kissed him sweetly before walking around Dean towards the restaurant.

Dean followed slowly behind Cas and watched as Cas walked away from him. The stupid, sexy trench coat was blocking his entire view of the sexy body that belonged to Cas. He just wanted to see Cas' ass in the tight jeans that hugged him. He was still staring at the back of Cas as he accidentally ran into him. "Oh, fuck. I'm sorry, Cas." Dean had barely been able to catch Cas with an arm wrapped around his midsection.

Cas giggled and bit his lip as Dean pulled him against his chest. "Dean, it is okay. We are clumsy today, aren't we?" Cas stabilized with Dean still wrapped around him in front of the restaurant. He turned around in Dean's arm and Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's neck and kissed him deeply.

Public Display of Affection be dammed.

Dean was surprised to say the least but it was a pleasant surprise and he acted on it in an instant. He reciprocated with enthusiasm and quickly forgot that they were in the middle of the sidewalk in front of the restaurant, most likely being watched by the staff inside. When the kiss finally broke because of the need to breathe Dean whispered "Cas, we are already a little late for the reservation." Cas let out a sad breath and looked up into the green pools of Dean's eyes and smiled. "Well let's go to dinner."

They separated and Dean held the door open for Cas before they both walked in. The restaurant was quaint and adorable and all of the staff was staring at them when they entered. Cas flushed red and Dean just smiled cockily.

They took their seat at the table and took their time to order, took their time eating, and then ordered dessert. By the time dinner was over Cas was stuffed and so was Dean. They'd had a full three course meal. Throughout their meal Dean and Cas talked about nonsense, Dean went on and on about his little brother. Cas talked about his family some more, which was awkward because of the over religious way that he was raised. He talked about how it turned out every single one of his siblings, all 7, turned out to be gay, lesbian, or bisexual. He was worried that Dean didn't talk about anything other than his brother when it came to his family but he figured he'd learn eventually.

They talked about everything that they could in the short time of dinner.

They left at 8:30 PM and the movie started at 9:00 PM. Dean had told Cas about the first Avengers movie and how he loved to watch all of the commercials that were before the movie because it amped him up to see what he was to expect for the rest of the year. He raved on about his favorite movies and everything that he was excited for during the drive to the theater and his excitement sent waves of pleasure through Cas, Cas was getting excited for the movie even if he were apprehensive.

They arrived at the theater at 8:55 PM and Dean practically ran to box office to get the tickets so that they didn't miss the commercials. Castiel trailed behind and walked past Dean into the lobby of the theater. Dean bought them some popcorn and the largest soda that he could get before going into the theater, Cas following by wrapping his arm around Dean's.

* * *

"That movie was fantastic!" Dean practically yelled as he exited the movie theater into the brisk air of the autumn night. It was 11:45 PM when they finally got done with the movie.

"_Because Cas, you _always_ stay until the end of the movie, even after the credits." Dean said as Cas sat back down when the credits started._

"_But Dean, why do we have to stay?" Cas whined quietly._

"_Cas, I literally just explained this. You will see when it happens." Dean had his hand wrapped around Cas' arm. Cas looked at Dean and then relaxed back into his seat._

"Yes Dean, the movie was favorable."

"Really Cas, favorable?"

"Yes Dean, favorable. I liked it very much."

Dean got into the car after he opened the door for Cas, started it and drove towards Cas' apartment. They talked about the movie some and then once they got to Cas' apartment Dean got out and opened the door for Cas again. Walked Cas up to the door to the complex and then Cas turned to face him. They ended up in the same position as they had been earlier that night.

Dean had Cas pressed against the door and his body sandwiching him. Dean leaned forward and kissed Cas deeply and passionately. The warmth of Cas pressed against his front and the cool air of the night were both intense even with his layers but he honestly didn't mind.

Cas moaned into the kiss and once it broke he smiled, "Dean... This is the third time that we've been making out multiple times in public... Maybe we should go upstairs."

* * *

**A/N I promise that for reals the next chapter is going to be smut smut smut smut forever! It's gonna be fantastic.**

**Thank you so much for reading, please review :)**


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